A Golden Rose Among Grey Ashes
by XxReddShadowxX
Summary: If you loved me, you would've stayed. You wouldn't have left me here alone, ne Shizu-chan? Shizaya/T for obvious reasons/Character Death/Angst/Romance/Tragedy/Oneshot


**I needed to make another oneshot for some reason, don't ask me why. Just a heads up, I practically cried while writing this, and it takes _a lot_ to make me cry. But still, writers gonna write, and this is what I have decided to present to you, coming from the deep, dark abyss that I call the back of my fanfiction notebook. I held some stuff back, so it isn't _too_ incredibly angsty, but whatever.  
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**Just to clarify, this _is_ Shizaya, no matter what happens in it, so... happy reading~!**

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Silver droplets flowed in shadowed rivulets down the pale skin of my face, cascading in solid streams like transparent ribbons. Though it was dark, my moonlit reflection glistened in the mirror of my bathroom, showing me the dissheveled face of a man unworthy to be walking among the living, unworthy to be Orihara Izaya.

"How pathetic..." I whispered, running a shaking hand down the frame of the mirror, smiling sadistically.

Crimson eyes, void of sanity, were glasses over in madness, unruly raven hair beyond fixable and dark, and blatant circles lining the area underneath my scarlet orbs. My bony fingers, unnaturally clammy and frigid, clenched the ebony counter-top as I began to shake. Gripping the edges of the sink, I ovserved week-old scars leak blood again, trickling messily down my forearms and my wrists. I grinned bitterly, grimacing in pure agony, my petite frame wracked with abrupt and violent tremors.

"Look what you've done to me, Shizu-chan..." I spat, talking to no one in particular.

Heiwajiman Shizuo and I had been dating for over two years up until about a month ago. He just left me, without warning. He disappeared. Only a few days after, I got an email from a woman that I didn't know, or care to know for that matter. The words stung me in my mind, worsening as I recalled them clearly from only one reading of the message.

_'You were a fool to think that anyone could love you. Shizuo-san is much happier with me; a real woman that can offer him much more than you ever could. You may look at him as a beast, but you are the true monster._

_You are the true monster, Orihara Izaya.'_

I never even did look at who the sender may have been, but I didn't have to. Those words alone were enough to break me. I saw it in my eyes; the stare of a broken man. I was one of the most powerful men in Ikebukuro and in Shinjuku, and all it took to knock me down was four measly sentences. It only got worse from there.

I started drinking, thinking that I could numb the pain. When that wasn't enough, I started smoking, too. I lost sleep, and I refused to eat, ignorantly neglecting most of my basic needs. I was so confident before, but all the people I knew are probably just enjoying the sight of my world collapsing on top of me. They probably adored seeing me reduced to such a pathetic sight, just as I had adored watching them before this all happened.

That's when it all started; the cutting.

When I found out that numbing the pain wasn't enough, I sought out another simple solution; I made more pain. When the blood didn't satisfy me enough, I drew more. Pricking turned into stabbing, which turned into slicing and even worse. It still hurt, but somewhere deep inside of me, I felt that with every drop of blood came another tear from my garnet eyes, washing itself out of my body, which made me think;

_Does this hurt you too, Shizu-chan?_

By the time two months had passed, I was fired from my job and was forced to relocate my home to a dirty apartment complex in a dangerous area of the city. I hadn't eaten in a few days, and I was extremely sickly. That's when it happened, when the break-in struck.

Night had fallen, and my room smelled of alcohol, nicotine, and blood. I was sobbing again in the corner of my bathroom, dripping with salty water and crimson liquid when I hear the doorknob snap. I wasn't actually scared, to say the least. I was actually glad that someone had enough of a generous and compassionate soul to come and take my miserable life, to end my eternal suffering. The door was broken down harshly, and I didn't even look up as a metal weapon found its place lodged in my skull, a voice screaming into my ears, and reverberating through the room.

_Funny_... I thought, a nearly elated smile gracing my lips as more blood trickled down my forehead. _These screams, that strength, that action... It's something that Shizu-chan would have done, ne?_

But it wasn't him.

Some time later, I'd woken up with a dark, cold hospital room to greet me and my pounding head. However, I could sense another presence in the room, I could hear them sobbing. It actually felt nice to hear someone releasing their sadness besides me. My eyes cracked open, revealing a tall, bleach-blond figure staring at me, tears in his eyes, and calloused, muscular hands grasping my own desperately.

"Hello, Shizu-chan." I whispered, voice scratchy, smiling. His head shot up.

"I love you, Izaya!" He cried, gasping. I nodded slightly, still smiling happily and ignoring all the pain that I was in. I stared at him.

"I love you too, Shizu-chan..."

He grasped my hand once more, even tighter this time. His head tilted down as he continued to soak the white sheets as my vision seeped into a deep black, shadowy flowers blooming at the corners.

"Don't you d-dare leave m-me now, I-Izaya," He choked out, leaning towards my face and kissing my forehead. "O-or else, I s-swear..."

I smiled again.

"Thank you Shizu-chan," I murmured quietly, drawing my terminal breath, never putting away that smile that I wore, weakly nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck. "Goodbye..."

Losing my grip on reality, I pried my eyes opened once again, finding a black abyss of grey faces. Immediately, I spotted one that I was instantly drawn to, a tall, golden figure standing out among the hues of ashen greys. He smiled at me, and I smiled back, collapsing into the safety of his loving arms, which welcomed me into my new existence.

_Thank you Shizu-chan..._

_...Goodbye~_

"


End file.
